How to support your loved ones amid the ongoing Ariana Grande conversation
The ongoing commentary about Ariana Grande and her body image has been hugely triggering for many. It’s a conversation that comes with many complexities, many opinions, many emotions, and for those who personally suffer from eating disorders, many triggers.
There are so many ‘hot takes’ online, so many fans expressing concern, so many people giving out to those who admit they’re worried about the singer, and half a dozen more opinions taking over our feeds.
Instead of adding another opinion to the Ariana Grande debate, we reached out to BodyWhys for professional advice on how to help your loved ones if they’re feeling particularly triggered by the social commentary about Ariana Grande.
It feels near impossible to avoid discussions about Ariana Grande and her appearance online, but it’s important to remember that there is so much you can do to support the ones you love who may be triggered.
The BodyWhys team told Her.ie: “Online platforms can offer connection, support, and a sense of community for people experiencing eating disorders and those in recovery. However, these same platforms may also expose vulnerable individuals to content that is triggering, misleading, or potentially harmful. There is often a delicate balance between supportive online communities and content that may reinforce eating disorder thoughts and behaviours.
“Popular culture, media, and social media can have a significant influence on how we view health, appearance, and body image. They may unintentionally reinforce harmful ideals associated with diet culture by promoting narrow standards and body image ideals, such as thinness or muscularity, as something to aspire to. Over time, this can shape how people see themselves, increase perceived pressure to look a certain way, and contribute to feelings of inadequacy.”
The BodyWhys team explained that repeated exposure to these ideals can lead to an increase in body dissatisfaction, which is a recognised risk factor in both the development and maintenance of eating disorders.
“An individual’s online environment may begin to reinforce eating disorder thinking while making it more difficult to access the self-compassionate thoughts and behaviours that support recovery.”
Being overexposed to comments about ‘the ideal way to look’ or even worse, comments that glamourise weight loss and extreme thinness, can be extremely triggering, so ensuring your loved ones feel supported is key here.
When supporting someone with an eating disorder, it may be helpful to:
– Encourage them to reflect on how the content they engage with online makes them feel, while keeping communication open about both their online and offline experiences. Create a safe space where they can talk about their thoughts and concerns, and remind them that you are there to support them.
– Discuss the potential benefits of setting boundaries around social media use, such as limiting use to certain times of the day, and encourage time spent engaging in offline hobbies and interests.
– Increase awareness of how social media algorithms work and the difference between passively scrolling and intentionally seeking content that aligns with their values and interests.
– Support them to curate their online feeds, perhaps unfollowing accounts that negatively affect their wellbeing and following content that promotes recovery, diversity, and self-compassion. Guidance on creating a more supportive social media experience is available from Bodywhys: Bodywhys | Improving Your Social Media Experience.
In a world of self-comparison, we can often forget that our value is not determined by how we look. It is important to remember that appearance is only one small part of who we are. People naturally come in a wide range of shapes and sizes, and health does not have a particular ‘look’. Body shape does not determine a person’s worth or value. If the pursuit of health is solely directed towards attaining a particular body ideal, it risks compromising social, emotional, mental, and physical well-being.
What is the best way to show someone support?
If someone you love has an eating disorder or is in recovery, it’s important to let the person know that you are not assuming to know what they are experiencing. Rather than trying to change them, let them know that you are on their team and that you want to understand what they are going through.
Many supporters worry about saying the wrong thing. We may hesitate to contact someone out of the fear of saying the wrong thing, but acknowledging that struggle is okay, too. Being open and honest can strengthen trust. For example, you might say, “I was worried about getting this wrong or saying something that might make things harder. I really want to support you.”
Many people who suffer from eating disorders often feel like they’ve lost a sense of agency. It is often helpful to ask or explore things with a loved one. You might say, “I want to support you, but sometimes I’m not sure how. What do you think would help you feel supported?”
One thing we need to do more is to make sure the person knows you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk. Make sure that they know they’re not facing this alone, but don’t rush them to talk if they’re not emotionally ready.
Let the person know that you are there whenever they feel ready to talk, and that they do not have to face this alone. Try to communicate your willingness to listen without judgment, to understand their experience, and to take the next steps together.
As a society, we would hugely benefit if we stepped away from commenting on individual people’s appearances and educated ourselves more about how to support those we know directly impacted by eating disorders.
If you would like to learn more about supporting someone with an eating disorder, Bodywhys offers a free family support package beginning with the PiLaR programme. The programme combines psychoeducation, support, and practical skills to help support a person towards recovery. The next programme begins on 7 September. Contact pilar@bodywhys.ie to register.
View the Bodywhys family guide here.
Click here for Bodywhys Support Services.
