As a man, I can only say: thanks Orlando, thanks a bunch.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll be aware that Orlando Bloom was pictured this week with girlfriend Katy Perry in sunny Sardinia. For many men that alone would be enough to envy the millionaire Hollywood actor.
But it is the Pirates Of The Caribbean star’s attire – or rather lack of it – that has many men feeling all insecure and green-eyed. He was snapped in the nude while paddling with his pop star beau, and it seems he was packing.
THE DAILY STAR FRONT PAGE: "Blooming oarsome Orlando" #skypapers pic.twitter.com/YrwMX2IX0p
— Sky News (@SkyNews) August 3, 2016
The papers featured censored images of the English actor, but curiosity got the better of numerous men and women out there as they scoured social media for untouched images. Just for research purposes, obviously.
out here lookin for those uncensored pics of Orlando Bloom like pic.twitter.com/b9b42EIxQQ
— ian 😀 (@ianspencer95) August 3, 2016
It’s safe to say they were somewhat taken aback by what they saw…
*sees Orlando Bloom trending*
*clicks on the trend* pic.twitter.com/n7TESl8TtK
— The Late Late Show with James Corden (@latelateshow) August 3, 2016
As you can see below, the male reaction was generally one of very honest inadequacy. Serves them bloody right for looking in the first place…
https://twitter.com/jarmon/status/761368031293534208
https://twitter.com/RealPengy/status/761294363762823169
https://twitter.com/NordstromMaddi/status/761276206868107264
https://twitter.com/StevieDunninho/status/761248122882363392
I can never again say I haven't seen Orlando Bloom's cock. Fuck off internet. You're a real asshole sometimes.
— bjc (@autopsy4) August 5, 2016
https://twitter.com/DavidSmith1046/status/761394948063178752
https://twitter.com/PepsiLew22/status/761246068629733377
