Moving into a flat or house share is often the best way of financing rental costs than can otherwise be extortionate for young people living in cities.
Living with someone you don’t know is great for building character, and there’s a good chance you might become lifelong pals.
That’s not to say you aren’t taking a massive gamble every time you put pen to paper on a lease with a total stranger. You can quite easily commit yourself to six months under the same roof as someone who puts handwritten warning notes on their cheese or meditates naked in the hallway in the middle of the night. Your instinctive feelings towards a person definitely count for a lot, but you can never know for sure what you’re letting yourself in for.
But as weird and wonderful as some of your ex-roomies might be, we can almost guarantee that they don’t come close to the people described in Tweets sent to writer Dawn Foster. She issued a callout to her followers for their worst flatmate stories, starting with one of her own.
Tell me your worst flatmate stories
— The Poisonous Euros Atmosphere Fan (@DawnHFoster) May 30, 2016
Also had a flatmate who would hide in the garden and watch you through cracks in the bedroom curtains/bathroom window, whispering in German
— The Poisonous Euros Atmosphere Fan (@DawnHFoster) May 30, 2016
Then came the responses, which ranged from the agreeably quirky to the..well, have a read for yourself.
First up, your standard toilet stinker-outer. Most people will encounter one in their lives.
housemate in uni would wait till someone left a bubble bath filling then go into the bathroom and do a massive, smelly poo.
— Jen Allison (@MsJenAllison) May 30, 2016
This one’s a bit more niche…
Quebecquois man mountain who watched endless tuna fishing videos and ruthlessly swore at me in French.
— Matt Allwright (@Mattallwright) May 30, 2016
Always a good way to kill some time…
Dried his hands on the curtains and threw light bulbs on an open fire to see what would happen.
— Melanie Rees (@MelanieJRees) May 30, 2016
Who needs personal hygiene?
didn't clean his teeth for first 6 weeks of house share. Urinated in cans @ night and left them around his room b/c lazy.
— badly-drawn barbenheimer 🤯 (@soapachu) May 30, 2016
Yeah, we probably wouldn’t have stuck around for long…
https://twitter.com/patrickashe/status/737240386628915200
Suppose that’s one way of doing it…
Brazilian guy who invented tale of father's coma after manslaugher of 2 employees to avoid saying he'd found a better flatshare
— Adrian Searle (@SearleAdrian) May 30, 2016
Probably not going to win any flatmate of the year awards this one…
Didn't pay any rent, faked three break-ins and then disappeared after he shat all over the sofa after a night out.
— Sibley The Best (@Goldfishwars) May 30, 2016
This guy makes Saul Goodman sound like a safe bet…
10 joint-a-day paranoid stoner flooded garden & kitchen when trying to build his own paddling pool. Was training as a lawyer.
— Alex Burd (@alexburd) May 30, 2016
The fact that this woman feels she got off lightly tells you everything you need to know about the other stories…
after reading the replies I feel very lucky saying I only found a… *sighs* glass of… semen in the kitchen sink.
— Ellen (@ellenfromnowon) May 30, 2016
True love conquers all…
Had a row with his gf, chased her out and the next day EXORCISED THE FLAT WITH HOLY WATER. They didn't even break up.
— John (@JM_Underwood) May 30, 2016
A dickhead of the very highest order…
I once lived with a guy who was opening all my mail (Christmas gifts ordered online) & selling the contents.
— Words from Darran (@ShinraAlpha) May 30, 2016
And finally this idi…oh wait, no this guy gets a pass. There can’t be many better ways to finish a night.
He came in roaring drunk at 2am, locked his bedroom door, turned Alan Partridge on at top volume & passed out.
— Nat (@unfortunatalie) May 30, 2016
