Everything you need to know about the penny method
Lovebombing, ghosting, breadcrumbing… Now it’s the penny method. But, at the end of the day, they are all toxic and manipulative relationship behaviours.
The worst thing about these attitudes is that the victim who is trapped in them is not capable, most of the time, of realising that they are being played. The latest dating method is the “penny method”, also known as “penny dating” or the “piggy bank method”.
It consists of a form of seduction in which, in the initial stages, one partner shows great interest and invests a great deal of their energy in the other person, but gradually starts to cut back on time and affection as time goes on. That leaves the other person lingering and waiting, involuntarily hooked on that other person.
When your brain is left with just enough to keep you hanging there, waiting for the initial situation or the return of a potential you believe you have seen, it is extremely difficult to get out of there.
The dopamine released every time you get a bit of attention from that person keeps you stringing along, waiting for another dose of their time and their energy. Not knowing when that person will get back to you feels similar to that of a “gambling addiction.”
You believe that, if you keep spinning the wheel or inserting some coins, you’ll get a reward at some point. You don’t know when, though. That’s why you continue playing.
However, there are some early signs that you can spot before it’s too late. These are some strategies of the penny method that a manipulative person will use to make you fall into their clutches.
Love bombing
This translates to the person already wanting to almost marry you at the very beginning of the relationship. Without barely knowing you, they already think you are “perfect”. Endless compliments, cheesy nicknames, future plans… they describe you as their “other half”, even though you
have only been seeing each other for no longer than a week.
Reducing effort or pulling back for no apparent reason
If your first instinct tells you that something’s off, believe it. There is a reason why, out of nowhere, you might feel something has changed without anything really happening. It’s your sixth sense warning you about an unjustified shift that you shouldn’t overlook, because it might be the first of many yet to come.
On and off attention
When disappearing and coming back as if nothing happened becomes their usual way of engaging with you, it is clear that they don’t want to move the relationship forward, but they still want to keep you around. That’s why they come back from time to time, so you don’t fully forget about them.
Unclear signs and language
When someone is into you, they want to let you know. They set times and dates; they suggest plans. Showing intention without really making it happen translates into no actual intention at all.
When words don’t match their attitude
You might think they are being honest with you, but if they don’t do what they preach, they were never meant to be that honest in the first place.
Always praise consistency over intensity
Maintaining contact over time, even if it’s not very intense, especially at the beginning, is way more important than extreme affection and non-stop messaging. The one who is really invested in you will make space in their lives over time, one step at a time, and not the other way around.
These are just a few of the key aspects that you might notice when you start to think that you are crazily falling in love with this new person. Here is when you have to stop and realize that what you feel is not butterflies in your stomach, but real anxiety.
