Ciara writes features for JOE.co.uk and is doing her best.
Paisean Faisean was lit. Who knew that such a simple format of men buying outfits for women could result in the most gripping Irish television programme of the early 2000s. Ne’er a day went by that I wasn’t glued to TG4 to see what unlikely lads had volunteered to make a holy show of themselves […]
Lads, me nerves. Despite all of us saying roughly three times a day “Ah no, he can’t actually win though”, there’s still a very real chance that Donald lunatic Trump could become the next president of the United States of America. While most of us are hoping that common sense will prevail, let’s cast our […]
Ugga Bugga! If your childhood wasn’t filled with fighting to the death against your siblings over whose turn it was to play Crash Team Racing, you haven’t had an authentic upbringing and you’re going to need to speak with your parents about that. I often wonder what happened to Crash and the gang. Did their competitive natures […]
Feels like we only just put away the EMAs decorations and now they’re back out again. As with any awards ceremony, people do their absolute best to look fancy and respectable for the occasion. They spend anything up to ten years getting ready for the big night, employing countless staff to aid their pursuit of […]
Wet November is significantly more fun. A lot of people embark on their personal Everest during November, by giving up alcoholic beverages. It’s a valiant, selfless and admirable act, the likes of which we’re increasingly unlikely to see repeated in this day and age. While we’re under no illusion that it’s a testing time for those […]
I am in love with Barack Obama. He is the father I always wanted (sorry Dad, you’re good too) and I am eternally upset that he was never my President (sorry Michael D. Higgins, you’re good too). When he finishes his term as POTUS, I propose that we have a national day of mourning here […]
Twitter is life. At a rough estimate, there’s well over 200 hundred people on Twitter currently. Celebrities sometimes use it to connect with their fans, but mostly just to promote their stuff. A lot of celebrities have quite pretentious Twitter bios, so I’ve taken the liberty of diluting the bullshit and giving them an accurate […]
Is it really better to be a moist shite though? Listen, everyone has a small element of dry shite in them and it’s absolutely fine. Sometimes you have to acknowledge that enough is enough and you simply will not be doing a damn thing for the next 6-8 months. Unfortunately, it’s possible that you can […]
Beauty and the Beast? More like Beauty and the Feast your eyes on this pack of lies. Watching the film through childhood eyes was magical. But if you revisit the classic today, it becomes very apparent that we were lied to, time and time again. There wouldn’t be a sniff of a similar story happening today. There’s […]
Names, am I right? They’re important as they help us tell the difference between each other and also provide excellent grounds for making up nicknames e.g. if your name is Billy and you are sometimes a bit silly, people will likely call you A DOPE. I’ve poorly translated some celebrities’ names to their Irish version. […]
Doodle-do-do *click click* The Addams Family is a wonderfully heartwarming tale of feuding families, excessive greed and bizarre lifestyle choices. I often wonder what some of my favourite films would be like if they were set in Ireland. For example, the story of Romeo and Juliet would be called Patrick and Niamh and they would […]
The Irish for Justin Bieber is probably Siustín Beibéar. As we know, the Biebs is in town and with that, he’s brought all of his notions in tow. I’m not interested in how many stewards he’s spat at, or how he refused to thank the man in the bathroom that handed him a tissue. I want […]