Ciara writes features for JOE.co.uk and is doing her best.
My parents very nearly named me Culture. Culture Night is back again and I am beside myself with excitement and anticipation of what lies ahead. Oh the culture we shall absorb, oh the places we shall see, oh the tales we shall tell, oh class the buses are still on strike. I’ve put together a […]
Lady Gaga’s new album is named after a very popular Mam name. It’s a bizarre name for an album, as it’s a very common name for a Mam. I think Gaga really phoned it in this time. Her previous albums had standard enough names like The Fame, Born This Way, Artpop and Cheek To Cheek and Not A Mam Name. […]
Drunken takeaways are vital for sustaining the future of humanity. We’ve all done a sly departure from a night out, telling friends you’re going to the bathroom, but actually heading straight out the door and into the chipper. Then you pile yourself into a taxi and resist the temptation to horse into the chippies before you get […]
Dublin Buses are on strike! We caught up with a few of the buses and they seemed happy enough with the day off, albeit under difficult circumstances. Here’s how some of the buses are spending their time off. Michael’s spending his day off on the beach with his girlfriend, Sarah. “I burn like a ginger, […]
Yes, it is a slow news day. Zac Efron is a beautiful man, that is not up for debate. Look, he’s partial to a smouldering Instagram post and couldn’t he be doing a lot worse with his time? If you’re one of his 20.5m followers, you’ll be aware that he posts a very decent selfie. Like […]
Taxis are an essential extravagance in life. Nothing makes you feel more like One Direction than plonking yourself in the back seat of a taxi and being driven to the destination of your choice. You feel important. In old films, everyone rich had a driver and you knew that one day, whether you were rich or […]
It’s not me, it’s you. I can’t flipping stand you and I’m not going to keep it to myself anymore. The world needs to know how I feel. You’re disgusting. You’re an eyesore. Nobody likes you. Go away and get out of my sight, you repulsive pig. A large portion of my disdain for you stems […]
What’s a pilot’s favourite pizza topping? Just a plane. If you’re a frequent flyer, you’ll understand the importance of everyone knowing aeroplane etiquette. It’s an unspoken set of rules that ensures everyone has a nice and comfortable time. Most of the rules revolve around one key principle: Don’t be an arsehole. I’ve put together a […]
WHAT IS HAPPENING?! The Great British Bake Off is moving to Channel 4, and now it’s been announced that Mel and Sue aren’t coming with it. We are shocked, appalled, sad and outraged. GBBO without Mel and Sue is like Christmas without a heated family argument. We can’t even begin to fathom the information being presented to […]
The old JC. It was a special time where we were led to believe that these essentially meaningless exams would determine the rest of our lives. To be fair, they’re really important. Not a day goes by where I’m not asked what I got in my CSPE exam (it was an A, please stop emailing me). […]
Driving is nice. It helps you get from place to place without having to be near any disgusting muggles on public transport. There’s a secret world that exists between car drivers, much like the one between bus drivers when they go past each other and give a cheeky wave and a flash of the lights. […]
Emojis, am I right? They are essential in aiding humanity’s descent into abolishing all face-to-face contact altogether. What’s better than actually talking to someone? Texting! What’s better than texting someone? Using emojis! While we have an extensive range of emojis available to us at any given moment, I’m greedy. I want more. I want a […]