Ciara writes features for JOE.co.uk and is doing her best.
♫ It’s the most pervy time of the year ♫ There’s something in the air around Christmas time that turns everyone into a massive creep and desperate to find love. Personally, I blame the harmful effects of such movies as The Holiday and the biggest culprit of all, Love Actually. Tonight is a big night out, everyone gathers together […]
It’s Christmas dinner Tinder! Yesterday, we asked our loyal Snapchat following to send us a pic of their Christmas dinners before they horsed into them. This is because a) we’re extremely nosey and b) we genuinely want to find the most beautiful Christmas dinner that was eaten in Ireland yesterday. So, we’ve shortlisted it to […]
Dear Diary, He’s here! Jesus Christ, he’s here! I am beside myself. People that doubted the validity of an immaculate conception have been proven wrong and I am delighted. Now, not to complain, but the birthing plan didn’t work out AT ALL. Joseph and I traveled to Bethlehem last night for a little getaway, but […]
Merry Christmas! Santa and Mrs Claus are absolute divils for the texting. His sleigh barely lifts off the ground and they’re already checking in to make sure the other one is missing them terribly. We were anonymously sent some leaked text messages exchanged between Santa and Mrs. Claus last night. As with any potentially fraudulent content, we are […]
Reindeer, am I right? As we speak, they’re already making their way across the world to deliver toys to millions of ungrateful little scuts. Santa would be utterly screwed without them. He’d be forced to use *shudders* public transport. I have no doubt in my mind that Santa’s reindeer aren’t half as innocent as they […]
Gaeilge, am I right? Irish is being viewed by some as a dying language, but we need it to stay alive because when we’re on holidays with friends and some local creep starts harassing us, it’s vital that we have a vague knowledge of our native language to communicate with each other to plan an escape route. Like […]
Dear Diary, I’m a nervous wreck. The baby is due TOMORROW. This is no ordinary baby, it’s the Son of God for Christ sake, no pressure so! Joseph has proposed a last minute trip to Bethlehem ON CHRISTMAS EVE. Is he mad? We’re bringing the paddling pool just in case I go early, so I can […]
Some people are a little heavy handed with their social media updates at Christmas. Strategically arranged gifts photographed with perfect lighting will flood social media on Christmas day, along with hashtags such as #theboydonegood, #spoiledrotten and #luckygirl. You have no choice but to send screengrabs to your friends saying “THIS WAN” etc. Here’s what we […]
Three wise men and a baby. I’m under no illusion that the Three Wise Men were anything other than a bunch of absolute chancers. They heard the baby Jesus was born and they hoofed themselves all the way to Bethlehem to get in on the action, blatantly in search of three Godfather roles. But how did […]
Love Actually is monumental and integral part of cinematic history. If you haven’t watched it approximately twelve times in the lead-up to Christmas this year, it’s essential that you rectify the situation immediately (it’s on RTÉ 1 tonight at 9.25pm sharp). In the meantime, test your trivia below.
WhatsAppenin? It’s a terribly busy time of year for Santa’s Elves. They’re running around trying to get their last few bits done in time for Christmas Eve, ensuring that billions of people worldwide wake up to heaps of wonderful presents on Christmas Day. You’d assume that Santa’s Elves are very polite, reserved and politically correct folk, […]
DRINK! It’s a big day today. There’s only 10 days left in 2016, Kiefer Sutherland turns 50, it’s the first day of Pancha Ganapati and it’s also the anniversary of iCarly’s first period. Today is also known as the Winter solstice, meaning it’s the shortest day and longest night of the year. What better way […]